Is it really VICTORY or denial?

I have listening to more Patrick Doyle messages online.

My Most recent one is anxiety and like all his other messages or You Tube clips I have listened too this one has been incredibly helpful.

It has reminded me the importance of choosing safe relationships in this season of healing.

Here is what I learned from Patrick on "victory" or the Christian pretence of it.

"Victory" as a Christian term can put a lot of pressure on people to be "all done" with their healing journey. When they may still be on the road to recovery.
It's ok to take all the time YOU need to heal! There is no rush or time limit.

Patrick said this statement that resonated so strongly with me and my current social anxiety struggles.

"Instead of having the freedom to honestly struggle we have to look for a certain way and that creates anxiety."

This is exactly how I currently feel at church and at my in-laws house.
I feel this tremendous pressure to at least appear to have it all together so they can be more comfortable around me.
I feel pressure too "fake fine" to fit in.

All of this pressure triggers anxiety and triggers my PTSD.

So I'm praying for God to show me which path to take. He has beautifully provided for my healing journey so far. I can continue to trust him.

Just this morning God encouraged my heart When my daughter was crying at a new VBS (Vacation bible school). My kids have never been to a VBS in this country. Only holiday clubs in Australia. It was yet another new and daunting experience we had too bravely face.
I felt the leaders were pushing aside her fears and tears as telling us both "she will have fun" but not really hearing our discouraged hearts.

I pulled Lucy aside to try encourage her when my own heart was hurting too.

Then an old friend appeared out of no where. She had a daughter Lucy's age who Lucy knew as a baby/toddler. She encouraged us that her daughter had also been crying as she did not have any friends either.

My friend Fran re-introduced Lucy to her daughter Juliet and Lucy's teary face lit up.

Juliet took Lucy by the hand and they say down.

I was able to leave in peace.

Micah still looked lost and down so I've been praying for him since.

I'm trying to remind myself God is faithful. He will provide safe, loving friendships for us. He already has and he will continue to do so.