You matter to God

It has been easy for me to believe in the past I do not matter, nor does my pain. After all the many who bullied me for many years obviously did not think I was worth much or why would they disregard me so much? Why would they put me down? If I were more pretty, fun, cool, or a miriard of other qualities maybe then they would approve of me? Right?

Wrong!

You see the truth is people will always let you down at some point. Even your closest and dearest friends. I have chosen better people to hang around now a days. People who hold me in high esteem and I to them. I am no longer stuck in a classroom with a bunch of bullies. Or at home with my brother bullying me or even part of a church where the Pastor bullied me.

I have finally learned to believe I am totally worth more than being put down or made fun of. 

Yet there are some family members who can be mean or make me feel "less than". There are people who come across my past who simply remind me of my past bullies. Just because they have a similar personality.

Because of the countless bullies in my past who bullied on and off for a span of 20 straight years form 2-23 I am tempted to run and hide. I am tempted to sit by my safe and cosy fire place and pat my loveable kitty's all day who I can trust not to hurt me. 

Yet I was not created for isolation and neither were you. We were created for fellowship with one another and I mean face to face, not online behind the screen of social media.

So I choose to take God up on His word and declare I matter. All of me. My personality, my weaknesses, my strengths, my weaknesses, even the broken pieces of my painful past.

Long before [God] laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love . . . Ephesians 1:4 (MSG)

I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born. Isaiah 44:2a (CEV)

There is a beautiful song that the Lord used to encourage my heart. 

It is called "Matter" by "For King and Country"

The lyrics so uplifted my heart as I went on a prayer walk in my childhood town on may childhood street.

As I walked under the canopy of beautiful rainforest. (Yes I grew up in sheer beauty). My heart felt heavy form the memories of my past and the many moments of rejection and mean words and actions I endured.

This song started playing and although I really loved the band "For King and Country" not just because they too are Aussies but as their lyrics have ministered to my heart on numerous occasions. I had never stopped to really zoom in and focus on the lyrics. The Lord brought them to light in a way that truly touched my heart. He reminded me the pain of my past truly does matter.   He really does care and longs to heal my broken heart. 

It takes much time to heal from more then your lifetime worth of abuse. God knows that.

Below is the song with the lyrics. I hope you are really able to soak it all in. I hope you can truly allow your heart to take in this truth.

You truly do matter. Every bit of you. All that you are, have been, are today and will be. 

https://genius.com/For-king-and-country-matter-lyrics

Sorry if it does not come up. You may have to Google the lyrics. Totally recommend you do and allow theses healing words to sink in deep.