You matter to God

It has been easy for me to believe in the past I do not matter, nor does my pain. After all the many who bullied me for many years obviously did not think I was worth much or why would they disregard me so much? Why would they put me down? If I were more pretty, fun, cool, or a miriard of other qualities maybe then they would approve of me? Right?

Wrong!

You see the truth is people will always let you down at some point. Even your closest and dearest friends. I have chosen better people to hang around now a days. People who hold me in high esteem and I to them. I am no longer stuck in a classroom with a bunch of bullies. Or at home with my brother bullying me or even part of a church where the Pastor bullied me.

I have finally learned to believe I am totally worth more than being put down or made fun of. 

Yet there are some family members who can be mean or make me feel "less than". There are people who come across my past who simply remind me of my past bullies. Just because they have a similar personality.

Because of the countless bullies in my past who bullied on and off for a span of 20 straight years form 2-23 I am tempted to run and hide. I am tempted to sit by my safe and cosy fire place and pat my loveable kitty's all day who I can trust not to hurt me. 

Yet I was not created for isolation and neither were you. We were created for fellowship with one another and I mean face to face, not online behind the screen of social media.

So I choose to take God up on His word and declare I matter. All of me. My personality, my weaknesses, my strengths, my weaknesses, even the broken pieces of my painful past.

Long before [God] laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love . . . Ephesians 1:4 (MSG)

I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born. Isaiah 44:2a (CEV)

There is a beautiful song that the Lord used to encourage my heart. 

It is called "Matter" by "For King and Country"

The lyrics so uplifted my heart as I went on a prayer walk in my childhood town on may childhood street.

As I walked under the canopy of beautiful rainforest. (Yes I grew up in sheer beauty). My heart felt heavy form the memories of my past and the many moments of rejection and mean words and actions I endured.

This song started playing and although I really loved the band "For King and Country" not just because they too are Aussies but as their lyrics have ministered to my heart on numerous occasions. I had never stopped to really zoom in and focus on the lyrics. The Lord brought them to light in a way that truly touched my heart. He reminded me the pain of my past truly does matter.   He really does care and longs to heal my broken heart. 

It takes much time to heal from more then your lifetime worth of abuse. God knows that.

Below is the song with the lyrics. I hope you are really able to soak it all in. I hope you can truly allow your heart to take in this truth.

You truly do matter. Every bit of you. All that you are, have been, are today and will be. 

https://genius.com/For-king-and-country-matter-lyrics

Sorry if it does not come up. You may have to Google the lyrics. Totally recommend you do and allow theses healing words to sink in deep.

God understands

I came across this verse on the bible app. It was my verse for the day. Gosh it really lifted me up. I was reminded how much God truly understands us. All of us. Including our broken parts and joys. Sometimes I sub consist think it's up to me to carry my pain from the past. It's up to me to organise my healing. To find the right verses. Seek the most fitting counselor. To pray at just the right time.
However God really does understand. So much so that it can't be measured. Not only does he understand my past and my current social anxieties I struggle with today, he can lead me and my sometimes troubled heart in the best way to find healing.

I can trust him. I can lean on him. I can follow him.

The below two verses give my heart much hope.

For The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8)

Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. Isaiah 40:28 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/isa.40.28.NLT

God only creates masterpieces.

I have come to know God can only create amazing things. I often say to the kids there are no dumb or stupid animals as God does not know how to create less than amazing.

I really love chickens and they are often told to be a bird of no intelligence. Yet our pet chickens learned how to knock on the door to get out attention, they can tell us when they have laid an egg or when they are afraid. When they are happy and when they are hungry. When you really get to know chooks they are really smart. I have even watched one hen play "America the Beautiful" with her beak on a keyboard on America's got Talent!

Mufasa off the Lion king said it so well when he said
"everything deserves our respect from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope."

God only creates masterpieces. That is all He knows How to do.

Today I read this precious verse and was so blessed by it.

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago".

How refreshing. First God says we are his masterpiece...not a piece of junk! Secondly He has created us anew so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

That gives me so much hope for my once was bullied self. It is easy to see yourself as junk when you are treated that way. But I remind myself and I ask you to tell yourself,

We are worth so much more than the way we have been treated!

As Christine Caine said
"What Jesus did for me was bigger than what they did to me!"

She too was abused and bullied for many years. Also rejected by her peers for being different.

We can be free. We can have a Godly sense of self worth. Let's hold our heads up high and live like the true masterpieces we were created to be.